She is still standing
Though she is beyond tired
More like exhausted
Drained
She is still standing
Standing in a world where everyone just rushes by
Pushing and shoving and
Not caring about the debris they leave behind
She is still standing
And though she is not standing tall
Or steady
Or confidently
Or sure of how much longer she can make it...
She is still standing
And it makes her the most beautiful woman in the world
And she should be revered
And gazed upon like the star she is
She is still standing
And she should always have someone by her side
To tell her she is truly amazing
In spite of the world she's surrounded by
And that she is loved
And always will be
With open arms
And undying support
And complete adoration
For the storm is almost over
And the rainbow of love will soon appear
And she will blossom
If she can just hang on...
and remain standing...
Exhausted
He is exhausted.
Mentally exhausted.
Emotionally exhausted.
Spiritually exhausted.
Its near the end of his shift.
A full long day in the customer service department
Answering phones, answering questions
Fielding complaints, fielding grievances
Problem solving and doing his best to make things right
or at least better than they were before.
But tonight, he doesn't want to go home.
He doesn't want to go to his four silent walls
Trapping him within a seemingly endless cycle of
distractions and tasks and other things to avoid
Tonight, he doesn't want to go home
But he doesn't know where he wants to go
or what to do
or anything.
He is exhausted.
Taking care of peoples needs
and satisfying peoples wants
as each one comes in the door,
states their purpose
and then walks out the door again,
Sometimes happy, other times not.
Always listening to what is wrong
Everything is always wrong
He just wants things to be right
That's not too much to ask, is it?
What is right?
What is wrong?
It's all become a big confusing blur
of emotions and influences and inputs
and voices and sounds and people and noises
screaming and yelling and claiming anything and everything
just to protect their piece of the world
no matter what it does to anyone else's piece of the world.
Have we really become this divided?
Have we really become this isolated?
Have we really become this way?
Has he become this way?
Is there anyone else that feels the same way?
Is there anyone else headed the same way?
He wonders. And wanders.
He looks at the clock
and the seconds tick away ever so slowly
Wishing that the end of this day could come quicker
Only to face the beginning of this night.
He is unsure
Mentally unsure
Emotionally unsure
Spiritually unsure,
Unsure and exhausted.
Is it time?
Is it time to clock out?
It is time to begin the journey home?
Or to wherever else the road may pull him?
Is it time?
Is it time to leave it all behind?
Is it time to leave them all behind?
Is it time to head outward to face inward?
Is it time to face outward to head inward?
Is it time to rest?
Is it time to sleep?
Is it time to sit?
Is it time to stand?
Is it time to be awake?
Is it time to look? Or see?
Is it time to listen? Or hear?
Is anyone there?
He looks at the clock.
And the seconds tick away,
still ever so slowly
and steadily
He is unsure.
And exhausted.
But it's not quite time...or is it?
Mentally exhausted.
Emotionally exhausted.
Spiritually exhausted.
Its near the end of his shift.
A full long day in the customer service department
Answering phones, answering questions
Fielding complaints, fielding grievances
Problem solving and doing his best to make things right
or at least better than they were before.
But tonight, he doesn't want to go home.
He doesn't want to go to his four silent walls
Trapping him within a seemingly endless cycle of
distractions and tasks and other things to avoid
Tonight, he doesn't want to go home
But he doesn't know where he wants to go
or what to do
or anything.
He is exhausted.
Taking care of peoples needs
and satisfying peoples wants
as each one comes in the door,
states their purpose
and then walks out the door again,
Sometimes happy, other times not.
Always listening to what is wrong
Everything is always wrong
He just wants things to be right
That's not too much to ask, is it?
What is right?
What is wrong?
It's all become a big confusing blur
of emotions and influences and inputs
and voices and sounds and people and noises
screaming and yelling and claiming anything and everything
just to protect their piece of the world
no matter what it does to anyone else's piece of the world.
Have we really become this divided?
Have we really become this isolated?
Have we really become this way?
Has he become this way?
Is there anyone else that feels the same way?
Is there anyone else headed the same way?
He wonders. And wanders.
He looks at the clock
and the seconds tick away ever so slowly
Wishing that the end of this day could come quicker
Only to face the beginning of this night.
He is unsure
Mentally unsure
Emotionally unsure
Spiritually unsure,
Unsure and exhausted.
Is it time?
Is it time to clock out?
It is time to begin the journey home?
Or to wherever else the road may pull him?
Is it time?
Is it time to leave it all behind?
Is it time to leave them all behind?
Is it time to head outward to face inward?
Is it time to face outward to head inward?
Is it time to rest?
Is it time to sleep?
Is it time to sit?
Is it time to stand?
Is it time to be awake?
Is it time to look? Or see?
Is it time to listen? Or hear?
Is anyone there?
He looks at the clock.
And the seconds tick away,
still ever so slowly
and steadily
He is unsure.
And exhausted.
But it's not quite time...or is it?
Sometimes I Wonder (Part 2)
Where do I stand?
A thousand waves crash against the shore
Blown to and fro by winds gusting from every direction
Pulled back and forth by the full moon floating in the sky
Fading in and out behind the clouds
Casting shadows in the darkness...
And I wonder...
What does this all mean?
Where is this all headed?
Where am I headed?
What am I doing?
Besides sitting here, thinking and pondering,
and reflecting
much like the moon on the surface of the ocean.
Where do I stand?
A thousand miles away from anywhere
I don't know where the last somewhere was
I don't know where the next somewhere is
Looking around at the shadows in the darkness
Closing my eyes in order to be able to see...
And I wonder...
Sometimes I wonder
(as I wrote long long ago)
And I still wonder...
Where do I stand?
A thousand forces pushing and pulling
and turning and twisting and shoving and yanking
and grabbing and grasping and clutching
and it's not letting go
I just want to let go
And it's hard to wonder;
So hard to wonder...
Where do I stand?
A thousand different voices screaming and shouting
I don't know what you're saying
I don't know what I'm hearing
I don't know what I'm saying
I don't hear what I'm saying
I don't hear what I'm thinking
sunrises and sunsets and the clouds and stars in between
harmonies and melodies and the notes and rhythms in between
onward and upward and forward
the time is not right but time is time
And dark is dark
And light is light
And silence is
Golden.
Quiet.
Stillness.
Peace.
Peace admidst the chaos
and clutter
and the distractions
and it's time to let go
and it's time to go
and it's time
it's time
time.
A thousand waves crash against the shore
Blown to and fro by winds gusting from every direction
Pulled back and forth by the full moon floating in the sky
Fading in and out behind the clouds
Casting shadows in the darkness...
And I wonder...
What does this all mean?
Where is this all headed?
Where am I headed?
What am I doing?
Besides sitting here, thinking and pondering,
and reflecting
much like the moon on the surface of the ocean.
Where do I stand?
A thousand miles away from anywhere
I don't know where the last somewhere was
I don't know where the next somewhere is
Looking around at the shadows in the darkness
Closing my eyes in order to be able to see...
And I wonder...
Sometimes I wonder
(as I wrote long long ago)
And I still wonder...
Where do I stand?
A thousand forces pushing and pulling
and turning and twisting and shoving and yanking
and grabbing and grasping and clutching
and it's not letting go
I just want to let go
And it's hard to wonder;
So hard to wonder...
Where do I stand?
A thousand different voices screaming and shouting
I don't know what you're saying
I don't know what I'm hearing
I don't know what I'm saying
I don't hear what I'm saying
I don't hear what I'm thinking
sunrises and sunsets and the clouds and stars in between
harmonies and melodies and the notes and rhythms in between
onward and upward and forward
the time is not right but time is time
And dark is dark
And light is light
And silence is
Golden.
Quiet.
Stillness.
Peace.
Peace admidst the chaos
and clutter
and the distractions
and it's time to let go
and it's time to go
and it's time
it's time
time.
Is This The End?
Is this the end?
Is it all over?
Are we past the point of no return?
Is there no place else to turn?
Do we say goodbye?
Should we lie down on the ground?
And stare up at the stars?
Have we lost our way?
Disconnected from the past?
Is there no hope for the future?
When did we begin?
Where were we going...
...before we became lost?
Here we are.
We are here.
Somewhere.
Nowhere.
Anywhere?
Not back there.
And not up there, either.
Just here.
Anywhere.
Nowhere.
Somewhere.
Here.
Was that the end?
Was it all over?
Or is this just the beginning?
Were we past the point of no return?
Was there no place else to turn?
Or is the entire world in front of us?
Did we say goodbye?
Or are we saying hello?
Did we lie down on the ground?
And stare up at the stars?
Will we stand up as tall as the world?
And look up at the sun?
Have we found our way?
Still connected to the past?
With new hope for the future?
When will we begin?
Where can we go...
...now that we're found?
We are here.
Here we are.
Just here.
Somewhere.
Anywhere.
Everywhere.
Is it all over?
Are we past the point of no return?
Is there no place else to turn?
Do we say goodbye?
Should we lie down on the ground?
And stare up at the stars?
Have we lost our way?
Disconnected from the past?
Is there no hope for the future?
When did we begin?
Where were we going...
...before we became lost?
Here we are.
We are here.
Somewhere.
Nowhere.
Anywhere?
Not back there.
And not up there, either.
Just here.
Anywhere.
Nowhere.
Somewhere.
Here.
Was that the end?
Was it all over?
Or is this just the beginning?
Were we past the point of no return?
Was there no place else to turn?
Or is the entire world in front of us?
Did we say goodbye?
Or are we saying hello?
Did we lie down on the ground?
And stare up at the stars?
Will we stand up as tall as the world?
And look up at the sun?
Have we found our way?
Still connected to the past?
With new hope for the future?
When will we begin?
Where can we go...
...now that we're found?
We are here.
Here we are.
Just here.
Somewhere.
Anywhere.
Everywhere.
I'm A Star!
Look at me!
I'm a star!
Everyone says that I'm wonderful,
and I am!
I'm the best there is.
I have to be.
What else do I have if I'm not the best?
And if you don't say that I'm the best,
I'm gonna scream and pout and demand that you tell me
that I'm the best.
I need to know that I'm the best,
(even though I know that I am).
I mean, I am, right?
I don't know what I'd do if I found out
that I wasn't.
But that's not going to happen, right?
Because I just know it.
I think I do, anyway.
Now look at me!
I'm a star, again!
And I don't need you.
Besides, who needs you, anyway?
I don't.
(Do I?)
Go away.
(But please stay.)
I don't like you and your kind, anyway,
telling me things I don't want to hear
(but might need to).
You're wrong.
And ugly.
And worthless.
And, and, and...
NOW LOOK AT ME!
I'm an EVEN BIGGER STAR!
Because I deserve to be!
When I look at you,
down there,
you can't possibly understand what it's like to be
as great as me!
That's what I put you down there.
I placed you down there,
with all of the other people like you
who look at me with your inattentive eyes
opening my wounds
and tearing down the walls built out of denial
and reinforced by attention.
You don't know me!
And you're jealous!
Jealous of my stardom...
LOOK! LOOK AT ME!
I'm an even different star!
My whole world depends on it.
And I will do anything and everything possible
to convince you (me) that I am.
I'm already worldwide!
I've been broadcast globally,
my voice and my face and my status,
Five stars and viral and liked
endlessly,
beyond my wildest dreams (reality),
and once you've reached where I am,
you'll see that
there's nothing better than this.
Nothing better at all.
As I look around.
And wonder where I am.
And wonder who I am.
And wonder what to do next.
And wonder where to go.
Because that didn't work.
Nor that.
Or THAT.
Or EVEN THAT!!
All my stars, fallen by the wayside.
One by one, they've disappeared,
covered by clouds hiding
the brightness of the moon.
Don't look at me.
Look at my stars,
sitting back there,
hovering close to the horizon,
dropping lower and lower.
DON'T LOOK AT ME!
I'M A WRECK!
And it's all your fault!
And yours, and yours,
and all of them and them too!
It's not my fault!
I deserve better!
Just you wait and see!
If it wasn't for everyone else
getting in my way,
I'd really be the star
that I'm sure I know for sure
that I think i am,
i hope,
i think.
don't look at me.
please don't look at me.
i wanna hide.
i wanna be left alone.
i can't look at you.
i can't bear you looking at me.
i can't look at you looking at me.
don't look at my stars back there.
i want to hide under the blanket of clouds
that has descended over me
darkened my skies
putting a lid over my dreams
trapping me beneath
the shattered raindrops
rushing down my face
washing it all away
reducing me to a puddle of
stardust
flowing away towards
somewhere seemingly distant
and far far away...
but as the rain ends
i look up to the dark night sky
and somewhere not quite so distant
and not so far far away...
...I see the tiniest of lights.
Point me towards the dawn.
Point me towards the morning.
Point me towards the new light,
the sunrise,
so I can open the blinds,
so I can see my own face in the reflection of the window
that I've been hiding behind.
Look at me,
and say hi.
This is me.
No longer a star.
No longer behind walls.
No longer looking down.
No longer
needing
your telescope.
It's time to wake up.
It's time to be me.
I'm a star!
Everyone says that I'm wonderful,
and I am!
I'm the best there is.
I have to be.
What else do I have if I'm not the best?
And if you don't say that I'm the best,
I'm gonna scream and pout and demand that you tell me
that I'm the best.
I need to know that I'm the best,
(even though I know that I am).
I mean, I am, right?
I don't know what I'd do if I found out
that I wasn't.
But that's not going to happen, right?
Because I just know it.
I think I do, anyway.
Now look at me!
I'm a star, again!
And I don't need you.
Besides, who needs you, anyway?
I don't.
(Do I?)
Go away.
(But please stay.)
I don't like you and your kind, anyway,
telling me things I don't want to hear
(but might need to).
You're wrong.
And ugly.
And worthless.
And, and, and...
NOW LOOK AT ME!
I'm an EVEN BIGGER STAR!
Because I deserve to be!
When I look at you,
down there,
you can't possibly understand what it's like to be
as great as me!
That's what I put you down there.
I placed you down there,
with all of the other people like you
who look at me with your inattentive eyes
opening my wounds
and tearing down the walls built out of denial
and reinforced by attention.
You don't know me!
And you're jealous!
Jealous of my stardom...
LOOK! LOOK AT ME!
I'm an even different star!
My whole world depends on it.
And I will do anything and everything possible
to convince you (me) that I am.
I'm already worldwide!
I've been broadcast globally,
my voice and my face and my status,
Five stars and viral and liked
endlessly,
beyond my wildest dreams (reality),
and once you've reached where I am,
you'll see that
there's nothing better than this.
Nothing better at all.
As I look around.
And wonder where I am.
And wonder who I am.
And wonder what to do next.
And wonder where to go.
Because that didn't work.
Nor that.
Or THAT.
Or EVEN THAT!!
All my stars, fallen by the wayside.
One by one, they've disappeared,
covered by clouds hiding
the brightness of the moon.
Don't look at me.
Look at my stars,
sitting back there,
hovering close to the horizon,
dropping lower and lower.
DON'T LOOK AT ME!
I'M A WRECK!
And it's all your fault!
And yours, and yours,
and all of them and them too!
It's not my fault!
I deserve better!
Just you wait and see!
If it wasn't for everyone else
getting in my way,
I'd really be the star
that I'm sure I know for sure
that I think i am,
i hope,
i think.
don't look at me.
please don't look at me.
i wanna hide.
i wanna be left alone.
i can't look at you.
i can't bear you looking at me.
i can't look at you looking at me.
don't look at my stars back there.
i want to hide under the blanket of clouds
that has descended over me
darkened my skies
putting a lid over my dreams
trapping me beneath
the shattered raindrops
rushing down my face
washing it all away
reducing me to a puddle of
stardust
flowing away towards
somewhere seemingly distant
and far far away...
but as the rain ends
i look up to the dark night sky
and somewhere not quite so distant
and not so far far away...
...I see the tiniest of lights.
Point me towards the dawn.
Point me towards the morning.
Point me towards the new light,
the sunrise,
so I can open the blinds,
so I can see my own face in the reflection of the window
that I've been hiding behind.
Look at me,
and say hi.
This is me.
No longer a star.
No longer behind walls.
No longer looking down.
No longer
needing
your telescope.
It's time to wake up.
It's time to be me.
Cloud Life
Drifting along
Lazily
Sun on my back
The wind guiding me ever so slightly
eastward
looking down at the world
gliding effortlessly
steadily
until I reach the ocean
where the blue sky meets the blue water
where the waves greet me
I've reached my home
The last of my vapor fades away;
a soft, breezy,
wispy
quiet
end.
Lazily
Sun on my back
The wind guiding me ever so slightly
eastward
looking down at the world
gliding effortlessly
steadily
until I reach the ocean
where the blue sky meets the blue water
where the waves greet me
I've reached my home
The last of my vapor fades away;
a soft, breezy,
wispy
quiet
end.
45, 46
45.
Just another stop on the path.
Just another step on the way.
Just another breath or two, or three.
What a strange trip it's been.
Hills and valleys, again and again.
Twist and turns and ups and downs
and yet I trudge on.
It's good to look back, sometimes.
But not for long.
and not that often.
It's about what lies ahead
what stands in front
off in the distance
just beyond the next bend,
or the one after that,
or maybe the one after that?
Who knows?
No one knows.
Knowing isn't the point.
It's about exploring.
Testing, feeling, experiencing.
No matter whether light of day,
or dark of night;
In the clearest of days,
or the thickest of fogs,
so thick that I can't count my five fingers
as I hold them in front of my face;
one step
one single step
one uncertain yet necessary yet promising yet fearful yet exciting yet nervous yet calm step
at a time.
I try to peek ahead.
All I see are trees.
And a path
my path
a narrow path
as it curves off in the not-too-far distance.
It's good to look ahead, sometimes.
But not for long,
not for long indeed.
It's about where I am.
It's about where I've been.
It's about where I'm going.
It's about why I am.
It's about why I've been.
It's about why I'm going.
It's about who I am.
It's about who I've been.
It's about who I'm going (to be).
Time for the next step.
46.
Just another stop on the path.
Just another step on the way.
Just another breath or two, or three.
What a strange trip it's been.
Hills and valleys, again and again.
Twist and turns and ups and downs
and yet I trudge on.
It's good to look back, sometimes.
But not for long.
and not that often.
It's about what lies ahead
what stands in front
off in the distance
just beyond the next bend,
or the one after that,
or maybe the one after that?
Who knows?
No one knows.
Knowing isn't the point.
It's about exploring.
Testing, feeling, experiencing.
No matter whether light of day,
or dark of night;
In the clearest of days,
or the thickest of fogs,
so thick that I can't count my five fingers
as I hold them in front of my face;
one step
one single step
one uncertain yet necessary yet promising yet fearful yet exciting yet nervous yet calm step
at a time.
I try to peek ahead.
All I see are trees.
And a path
my path
a narrow path
as it curves off in the not-too-far distance.
It's good to look ahead, sometimes.
But not for long,
not for long indeed.
It's about where I am.
It's about where I've been.
It's about where I'm going.
It's about why I am.
It's about why I've been.
It's about why I'm going.
It's about who I am.
It's about who I've been.
It's about who I'm going (to be).
Time for the next step.
46.
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