Driving

Friday, December 13, 1996

I should have known it was going to be the day from hell.

“What the hell?” I said to myself,

First thing when I woke up that morning.

(Everyone has said that at some time in their lives.)

I got dressed and walked outside,

Forgetting and deciding not to shave again.

(I was on a mission unknown to myself and everyone around me.)

I got in my car and drove northwest,

Although I really didn’t know where I wanted to go.

(I was escaping to an area I needed to escape from.)

“What the hell?” I said to myself again,

As it had started to downpour heavily.

(Everyone has said that everything comes in threes.)

But I kept on driving,

Drive on!  Drive, drive, drive!

(I was driving to a Christmas party.)

The music was driving,

The rain was driving.

(I felt a dagger drive straight into my heart.)

“What the hell?” I said again.

I looked at the clock, and the time was 0:13PM.

(0 o’clock?)

A streak of lightning hit the road in front of me.

I swerved left and right at the same time.

(The phrase “What the hell?” along with other choice phrases, ran loops in my mind)

I ended up on the side of the highway,

My car was unscratched.

(I had gotten out of the warm, bright car and stood in the cold, wet, dark night.)

I wanted to continue driving.

I wanted to continue driving.

(But something was holding me back.)

I had begun a new train of thought,

            My eyes had begun to blink,

                        The raindrops and my tears had begun to mix in

                                    Sub-conscious fear,

                                    Sub-conscious confusion,

                                    Sub-conscious disillusion

(That dagger killed my Christmas spirit.)

I was soaked by those rains.

I was soaked by those emotions.

            Failure?

            Lost?

Lonely?

Drowning?

Eternal darkness?

Hell?

(What the hell?)

I couldn’t tell what it was.

I wouldn’t tell what it was.

(I wouldn’t be able to tell what I couldn’t tell.)

“What a hell?” I said to myself,

At the stroke of midnight.

(I had climbed back into my car, since there was noting better to do.)

And so now I’m still

On a mission which is STILL

Unknown (?) to myself and even STILL

Unknown (!) to everyone around me.

(... ... ... ... ... ...)