A Trail

RUN! run run run run run run run!

Faster! Longer! Farther! You can do it! You can do it all!

…until you can’t. Until you have to stop.  Until there was no choice. No energy. No finish line. No crowd.

Then what? Now what?

That’s where she was.

On a trail.

In a field.

Not anywhere in particular.

Alone.

Defeated.

Tired.

Questioning.

                Questioning without answers.

This part of the trail was in the middle of a field, in winter.

No snow. No grass. No trees.

A grey field on a grey day. Any old day. They all ran together,

blended and molded and blurred

into a lifeless blob of nothingness.

What to do? Now what? To do?

Sleep. Take a peaceful nap. It’s becoming night, now. So, she closed her eyes…

But the silence was loud. Every little noise was magnified.

Every little breeze, every little rustle of a lonely leaf

being carried away to some other unknown place,

every little silent voice whispering a thousand thoughts on a hundred topics with a million questions and not a single solitary answer.

and now it’s dark. moonless. and she lay awake, lying there on the ground,

On a trail.

In a field.

In winter. 

then out of the east; a speck of light. A growing glow, with a hint of dark blue, then a lighter blue, then…

…that too was gone, behind another grey cloud.

The start of another grey day in a grey field on another any old day.

Except that the breezes were no longer quiet. They were LOUD! SCREAMING! 

There was no time for thoughts…no clarity for thinking.

Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, nowhere to take cover.

And so she stood…not really by choice, and not really for a reason;

                but she stood,

                and was immediately pushed by the wind across the field

knocked off balance

violently

uncontrollably

quickly

across the field, up one side of a hill, down the other,

into a forest,

slammed into trees and through bushes and

she curled into a little ball and reached out to hope,

clutching and grabbing and something or anything to take hold

to no avail.

Time and distance blurred again.

How long did this last?

How far did she tumble?

And just when it seemed it would never end,

The wind slowly subsided.

The clouds departed.

(It’s night again?)

Now what?

Where am I? she thought?

She was….

On a trail (the same trail?)

In a field (the same field?)

Not anywhere in particular.

Alone.

Defeated.

Bruised.

Tired.

Afraid to slee…

…her eyes closed. she slept. Heavily. Wearily. An exhaustive sleep.

But this time, the silence was silent. Not a sound to be heard. Except for one single voice. A little silent voice whispering a single thought on a single topic.

You survived.

You survived a hundred things with a million distractions and a single solitary answer. You survived.

then out of the east; a speck of light.

An awakening light.

A growing glow, with a hint of dark blue, then a lighter blue, then…

…a dazzling array of reds and pinks and violets,

And the growing bright sun

Without a single solitary cloud in the sky

Beaming down on that trail

in the middle of a field

at the beginning of spring

still not anywhere in particular

still alone

but rested

and not defeated

but alive

(and still bruised)

and maybe not ready to run

but maybe ready to take a step

a single, solitary step…